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Diana Needs A New Muffler

Diana Blumenfeld, a youthful sixty-two, her antecedents Ashkenazi Jews and Midwestern Methodists, pulls up in front of Wonderful Books and Things on Fremont Street in Portland, Oregon in her puke green thirty-year-old Toyota station wagon, and the world rejoices when she shuts off her unmuffled engine.

“Bon jour,” says Diana as she enters Wonderful Books and Things, a large airy store with thousands of used books in excellent condition, a few shelves of new books, a tasty selection of Impressionist wall calendars, a modest stock of stationery, postcards, art supplies, and pens, along with knitted caps, hot pads, tie-dyed silk scarves, and 100% cotton hoodies in various colors bearing the name of the store.

“We heard you coming from several blocks away,” says Marlowe Wolf, a beautiful forty-four with wavy brown hair, his antecedents German Jews and French Catholics, his attire a peach dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, brown corduroy trousers, and open-toed sandals.

Marlowe, the primary employee of Wonderful Books and Things, is standing behind the large counter at the back of the store logging a pile of newly acquired used books into the store’s brilliant new computerized cash register. The store’s elderly owner, Janet Cushing, spends most of her time in Mexico and France and only very occasionally comes back to Portland. She calls Marlowe every week and he uses the camera on his phone to show her around the store, which is really Marlowe’s store in every practical sense except for the profits, which are considerable.

Diana, skinny in a flimsy purple paisley dress, her long gray hair in a ponytail, her black-framed glasses lending a serious air to her Bohemian mien, strides up to Marlowe and says with false élan, “Marlowe, Marlowe, Marlowe. How are you on this frigid morning in late October? Excited about Halloween?”

“Tremendously,” he says, his accent mildly German. “My grandmother loves Halloween, loves seeing the kiddies in their costumes. I’ll be carving two big jack-o-lanterns tonight and we always give saltwater taffy. What about you? Dressing as a witch again this year?”

“Always,” she says, her smile becoming a frown. “Um… have you sold any of my caps or hot pads in the last week? I’m doing my usual end-of-the-month scramble for rent money and I was hoping you could advance me twenty dollars.”

“We have sold some of your things in the last week,” says Marlowe, referring to the lovely wool caps and sturdy hot pads Diana knits and sells in a handful of shops around town. “However, I’m sorry to say Janet called yesterday and told me not to advance you more money because you have yet to make back the advances we gave you in September and August. I’m very sorry, Diana.”

“Shit,” she says, bowing her head. “Shit and damn.”

“I agree,” says Marlowe, nodding sympathetically. “Shit and damn.”

“How about I give you a fantastic foot rub?” says Diana, gazing hopefully into Marlowe’s big brown eyes. “I’ll spend ten minutes on each foot. Twenty dollars.”

“Tempting, but no,” says Marlowe, getting out his wallet and extracting a ten-dollar bill. “You owe me lunch.”

Diana takes the money and says with believable sincerity, “I won’t forget.”

“I won’t let you forget,” says Marlowe, winking at her.

“Good. Don’t,” she says, laughing despite her predicament.

A moment later the air is rent by what sounds like machine-gun fire as Diana roars away in quest of more money.

“I don’t know why the police don’t ticket her. Noise she makes is criminal,” says Lester Thomas, a sixty-seven-year-old descendant of Africans and Cajuns and folks from New Orleans. Lester spends many of his mornings sitting on one of the store’s three sofas looking at books, this morning’s prize a big volume of photographs of French actresses from the 1970s.

“I think they don’t ticket her because she only drives where traffic cops are few,” says Marlowe, seeing a blinking light on the store phone indicating an incoming call. “She says if she drives over thirty her car will explode, but she can’t afford to have it fixed, let alone get a new muffler.”

“That’s crazy,” says Lester, glowering. “What’s her problem?”

“Hold that thought,” says Marlowe, answering the phone. “Wonderful Books and Things.” He smiles. “Oh hi Alice.” He listens. “Yes, we have several volumes of Dr. Seuss in stock.” He nods. “We’re open from nine to nine every day except on Monday and Tuesday when we close at six.” He listens. “Yes. Today is Thursday so we’ll be open until nine.”

Marlowe hangs up the phone and says to Lester, “In answer to your question, ‘What’s her problem?’ I would say… have mercy. She and I and you are doing the best we can right now. And right now is all there is really.”

“You’re right,” says Lester, smiling at Marlowe. “Who am I to judge someone I barely know?”

fin

Ahora Entras Tu from Todd’s album Ahora Entras Tu.

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On We Go

Seems like just a few moments ago we got the firewood into the woodshed for the winter, and now we must order more firewood to sit outside and season until October when we will schlep the logs into the woodshed, which is to say we’ve lived to see another March. Hallelujah.

Springtime. Our prune plum tree is sporting her first blossoms of the year. Prune plums hereabouts are an unpredictable fruit, and by that I mean there is no obvious correlation between how many blossoms our tree presents and how many prune plums will emerge and grow to fruition.

Will the gods grant our valiant tree sufficient warmth and the necessary pollinating insects to produce enough plums for jam? And will we manage to harvest the plums before the ravens do? We shall see.

Daffodils are blooming everywhere right now. How lovely and solemn they seem before they open to reveal their bright promise.

Always reassuring to see our lemon trees making new fruit despite and because of everything. “Don’t forget to feed us,” they whisper.

And here come our rose bushes emerging after their winter’s slumber, pinkish red in their infancy and soon to metamorphose into summer green on which roses will bloom.

The first rhododendron flowers on our two acres emerged a few days ago – harbingers of many more to come. The folks who owned this land before us planted several rhododendrons to give us gaudy shows every year, while on the fringes of the forest bloom the wild pink rhododendrons.

I recently engaged a drummer named Gabriel Yanez to play on two tunes on my upcoming album Hip Salon. He exceeded my fondest dreams of how my piano tunes might sound embellished with tasty percussion. What a fabulous percussive vocabulary he has, and how deftly he speaks with his drums. Hallelujah.

Speaking of salons, Marcia recently gave me a haircut and I feel days younger.

The only constant is change.

fin

El Camino Real from Todd and Marcia’s album Ahora Entras Tu

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Alternative News Feed

As Damaged Soul and Psychopathic Architect of Ruin continue to attack the foundations of American democracy with alarming success, and resistance seems frighteningly slow to develop among those who should be leading the resistance, we bring you this alternative news feed.

As the earth continues to rotate at a thousand miles per hour and fly around the sun at the astounding speed of sixty-seven thousand miles per hour, Leonard Peltier was pardoned, finally, for a crime he didn’t commit, and for which he spent fifty years in prison. Hurray for Leonard and his family and friends!

*

In more localized news, Mendocino received nearly seven inches of rain last week, and now we are in the midst of cold clear days as prelude to the next storm. A good wet winter so far in the watershed.

In local music news, weekends of late I’ve been driving our little red Prius from Mendocino to Albion to spend delightful hours in the recording studio with Peter Temple adding vocals to the piano tracks we recorded here at our house for an upcoming album entitled Hip Salon, a collection of tunes we hope to bring out a few months hence.

The title song, Hip Salon, came about in a fun way. Our friend Abigail was visiting and said of her friend, “She has a chair in a hip salon.”

I thought this was a great lyric and soon thereafter wrote a song that begins, “She has a chair in a hip salon. She sets you down and goes on and on, ‘bout this and that, that and this, and if she really likes you, if she really likes you, if she really likes you, she’ll give you a kiss.”

While working on the songs at Peter’s studio, one or both of Peter’s cats hang out with us and groove to my tunes, which prompts me to boast, “The kitics love my music.”

On another creative front, the novel I’ve been working on for a year, The Farm at the East Cove Hotel, is soon to be released as a handsome paperback. Then a few weeks later the e-book versions will appear, and not long after that the audio book will debut with yours truly narrating and playing all the characters. What fun!

In culinary news, I have stumbled upon a quesadilla-like concoction that is so good I must share the ingredients with you or feel guilty of a sin of omission. A corn tortilla fried in olive oil, cheese melted therein (or sliced turkey), avocado, sautéed mushrooms, and slices of dill pickles, the entirety doused in hot sauce. The combination of these flavors, with an excellent dill pickle leading the way, is indescribably delicious.

In domestic news, Marcia is about to join me in being seventy-five. Her birthday is easy to remember because it falls on Valentine’s Day and the media is full of reminders about this special day.

In closely related news, Valentine’s Day reminds me of one of the greatest things that ever happened to me as a kid. In Second Grade at Las Lomitas Elementary School, a couple weeks before Valentine’s Day, a little room appeared in the classroom with signage indicating the room was a post office. The purpose of this inner-classroom post office was to process the valentines we were to make and send to our classmates. We each had a post office box (cubbyhole), and when valentines were dropped into the mailbox adjacent to the post office, post office employees (we took turns being postal clerks) would collect the mail and distribute the properly addressed envelopes to the post office box grid mounted on the outside of the little room. No wonder I’ve always loved getting mail. Mail equals love!

And those are just some of the stories we’re following.

fin

Ahora Entras Tu song

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Fox Hollow Critters

A fox family lived on the edge of our property for our first few years in this house a mile inland from the town of Mendocino, so we decided to call our place Fox Hollow. The labels for jars of jam and pesto we made boasted Fox Hollow.

Then the foxes went elsewhere and we didn’t see a fox for a couple years. The name Fox Hollow began to feel erroneous. So we decided to call our place Skunk Hollow because we had lots of skunks and thought their babies especially cute.

We briefly considered calling our place Deer Hollow because deer abound here, but Deer Hollow doesn’t pack much poetic punch, so we stuck with skunk.

Several ravens nest hereabouts, but we were not inclined to call the place Ravenswood or Ravens’ Hollow. Too dark and foreboding. We prefer a more upbeat moniker.

We do have a beautiful feral cat who includes our acres in her hunting grounds, but she’s only rarely here so Cat Hollow would be misleading.

Recently a second feral cat started hunting here. How do we know these cats are feral? Because various neighbors have tried unsuccessfully to trap them, and no one in the neighborhood will admit to feeding them.

Now that we no longer have a domestic cat living with us, the lizard and snake and little bird populations have rebounded, so I suppose we could call our place Lizard Hollow or Snake Hollow or Little Bird Hollow, but those names don’t sing to us.

Then there are the chipmunks. Until recently, we enjoyed the occasional chipmunk scurrying around the place. We were glad not to have a cat or cats slaughtering the little cuties. But now, for the first time in our twelve years here, a new chipmunk has started coming into the house whenever we leave a door ajar. She boldly helps herself to whatever she can find to carry away from the kitchen, and she seems barely phased by our fits of rage when we catch her with a cookie.

Gone are the delicious summer days of leaving the doors open. This little demon is lurking in the ferns and waiting for her chance to get inside and steal our food. How about Chipmunk Hollow? Not a chance.

The foxes have returned, so we are Fox Hollow again and will remain so.

fin

Ruby & Spear from Todd and Marcia’s new album Ahora Entras Tu.

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Ahora Entras Tu

Our new album Ahora Entras Tu is here! We’re so glad to be able to share this suite of new piano songs and piano/cello songs with you.

The album contains nine songs and four short poems and is downloadable and streamable from Apple Music, Amazon Music, Pandora, YouTube, Spotify, and other music web sites! We will soon be getting our shipment of the actual CDs to send to community radio stations in hope of getting some airplay, and to dispense to friends who still have CD players.

We began the recording process last year when Peter Temple came to the house and recorded me playing the piano tracks on my Yamaha U7, an excellent upright piano I bought new in 1980 and have babied for forty-five years. I then went into the studio and added vocals to three of the eight tunes and gave those eight tunes to Marcia. She listened to them for some weeks and decided on four of the tunes she wanted to compose cello parts for.

When she was happy with what she’d created, we went into the studio and she recorded her parts. Then we lived with those renditions for a time, she made changes and additions in subsequent studio visits, and… voila!

As I prepare to send copies of the album to radio DJs, I’m calling the music Jazz with a Latin feel, though the music isn’t traditional Jazz. These tunes are melodic inventions, several of them Latinesque, as their names imply. And one groovacious blues.

We hope you’ll take a listen.

Blessings and Thanks!

Todd & Marcia