Feeling Sad

I’ve been feeling sad about the ongoing Israeli genocide of the Palestinians and the Lebanese, America’s senseless murderous war against the Iranian people, and our government’s war against the American people. Among other things.

Sometimes I forcefully push my sadness out of my consciousness, or stuff it down into my subconscious where the emotion manifests in dreams. Lately I’ve been allowing the sadness to remain my companion as I carry on with my life and see what happens, see how I feel when I welcome sorrow.

I lose myself in making bread or planting seeds or playing the piano or chopping wood, and the sadness will vanish for a time. When it arises again I’ll say, “Ah. You’re back.” Then I’ll feel the sadness as I shape the loaves or take a walk, and the sadness will go and come again and go again.

There is a Japanese expression mono no aware (mo no no ah wahr ay) which is often translated as Slender Sadness, meaning “the pathos of things”, the inevitable fading away of everything that exists, even sadness.

Some years ago I recorded a three-minute improvised piano piece with Slender Sadness in mind. I attach the link if you’d like to listen to the piece. I just listened to Slender Sadness for the first time in several years and found the music uplifting.

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Slender Sadness piano solo from Todd’s album Ceremonies