
October 17. Today is my birthday. I am seventy-six.
When I was born in 1949 there were not yet credit cards. For much of my life there were no such things as personal computers or mobile phones or the Internet, yet we somehow managed to communicate with each other. You could travel to thousands of small towns all over America on spacious Greyhound buses for very little money, and I did lots of that.

When I was an aspiring young writer, the only way to make multiple copies of the stories I wrote was to type the story on a piece of typing paper atop a piece of carbon paper atop another piece of paper. If I made a typo, the error could only be effectively corrected by re-typing the entire page again. The quality of the copies was lousy at best. I believe this is why so few people aspired to be writers.
The first photocopy shops opened in the early 1970s, after which a few more people decided to try to be writers. With the advent of personal computers and laser printers in the 1980s, almost everyone who could sort of write decided to try to be a writer. Today we have Artificial Intelligence capable of writing prose that almost no one can distinguish from prose written by really good actual writers.

I have a tradition of asking people on their birthdays if they have any words of wisdom they would like to share. Here is my answer to that question for this year.
Donald Trump, who somehow became President of the United States, not once but twice, really wants to win the Nobel Prize for Peace. I think this is a wonderful goal for him to have. Here are the eight things he needs to do in order to win the prize.

1. Remove all American military personnel from all cities, American and foreign.

2. Cut the defense budget by fifty percent and spend that 700 billion dollars a year to fund universal healthcare from birth to grave and free education from nursery school through graduate school for everyone in America.

3. Build high-speed electric trains connecting all major urban areas to greatly reduce the need for jet travel, which is the largest contributor to global warming.

4. Phase out the use of fossil fuels by creating a solar power system providing more than enough power for everyone and everything in the country.

5. Make producing and selling weapons of any kind illegal.

6. Hire kind, intelligent, well-educated, non-sexist, non-racist people to run the various arms of government.

7. Nominate intelligent non-sexist non-racist people to be our judges.

8. Dedicate the rest of his life to helping the poor and disenfranchised of the world.
If Donald Trump will do these eight things, I’m sure he will win the Nobel Peace Prize, and he’ll probably win more than once.
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