A few weeks ago I realized that the book I spent the last year writing was not something I wanted to share with the world. I had finished the five-hundred-page work, rewritten it several times, and was in the process of narrating what was to be the audio version of the book when I realized I no longer wanted to continue with this work.
For a few days after making the decision not to proceed with publishing the book I was in a state of shock. This has happened to me several times in my life, spending several months or years working on creations I ultimately abandon, but this hadn’t happened in many years because I’d become fairly astute about identifying such works before I spent much time on them.
In the wake of my decision about the big book, I wrote a long short story. And after writing two drafts of the story I realized I had written a miniature version of the book I had just abandoned. Clearly I was trying to resolve something through my writing, but I was not doing so in a way I felt would be of benefit to anyone other than me.
When I was a young writer these duds, so to speak, were a source of sorrow and disappointment for me. But as I continued to write every day, year after year, I came to understand that writing for me is a practice akin to meditation and yoga. The purpose of the practice is to practice, and to do so without forcing the practice. If I try to force myself to calm my mind, no calm will come. And if I force a yoga posture, I will very likely hurt myself.
So I have said goodbye to the big tome and the subsequent story, and a new something is flowing out, three connected stories so far. They are the children, if you will, of my marriage to that big tome. They would not exist had I not spent those thousands of hours practicing writing in the form of that novel. Will I ultimately publish the new something I’m writing? Time and more practice will tell.
Meanwhile my delightful new book for grownups and smart children The Dog Who Wanted A Person is now available as a beautifully illustrated paperback and e-book from your favorite book sources. However, several people have informed me that the paperback is currently NOT available from Amazon for some inexplicable reason, but the Kindle edition IS available there. I know the paperback is readily available from Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Alibris, and other online sources, as well as from your favorite actual bookstores.
Fin
The Way Things Go from Todd’s album Lounge Act In Heaven