Categories
Uncategorized

Listen to Oasis Tales!

Exciting news. The audio book edition of Oasis Tales of the Conjuror and other stories delightfully narrated by yours truly is now available from Apple Books and Audible.

I published this collection in 2020, the novella Oasis Tales of the Conjuror being the only futuristic fiction I’ve ever published, and The Golden Light the only existential war story I’ve ever written. Also included in the collection is my most successful performance piece, the Depression-era fable Of Water and Melons, along with two delightful stories set in California circa 1976: When Is It Done? and Clumsy Booby.

For the audio book I performed piano improvisations to conclude each of the chapters composing Oasis Tales and to enhance the other stories in the collection. Several of these improvisations will appear on my upcoming music album Much Too Beautiful, soon to be released.

The e-book editions of Oasis Tales of the Conjuror and other stories are available for just 2.99 from Apple, Amazon, and Kobo, and the paperback is widely available, too.

If you or someone you know enjoys audio books, I think you’ll very much enjoy Oasis Tales of the Conjuror and other stories, my tenth audio book!

Blessings and Thanks

Todd

Categories
Uncategorized

Story of the Story

Last night at quarter-to-nine, I got a call from Jamie Roberts who has the long-running show Radiogram on our local public radio station KZYX. He was calling to say that in fifteen minutes he would be airing my reading of my short story Of Water and Melons, something he’s done several times since I moved to Mendocino in 2006.

“It’s such a beautiful story,” said Jamie. “I think it’s your best… well, it’s my favorite story of yours. I think it’s a masterpiece and I like to share it with my listeners this time of year.”

I thanked Jamie, alerted a few friends, and Marcia listened on her computer in her office while I continued scribbling away on my new novel The Farm at the East Cove Hotel.

*

Jamie has aired many of my stories on his show over the years, and I can say with certainty that Jamie is the ONLY DJ in the world who airs my stories, though I’ve sent my spoken-word CDs to many spoken-word radio shows around the country. Those stories can be streamed and downloaded from Apple Music, Amazon, etc.

Marcia loved hearing Of Water and Melons again and had a good cry at the end, and a couple of peeps wrote to say they enjoyed hearing the tale, which is why I decided to recount the story of the story.

*

If memory serves, and mine sort of does, I wrote Of Water and Melons in 1979 when I was thirty. I wrote it longhand in a single sitting on unlined white paper as I still write my first drafts today.

The narrator began to speak and I wrote down what he said. A few hours later I had a pile of pages I set aside to read the next day. As is often the case with my first drafts, I only had a vague sense of what I’d written.

I was living in Santa Cruz at the time, and because of the very recent success of my novel Inside Moves, I was free to write without having to work at another job for the first time in my life.

Though I hoped this freedom would continue, I was fairly certain it would not. My success with Inside Moves was the result of a series of highly improbable miracles, and I was keenly aware that such miracles might not befall me again. I had already been dropped by the publisher of the very successful Inside Moves because I refused to write another “sports novel” which is what they were calling Inside Moves, a novel that is as much a sports novel as Moby Dick is a whale-hunting novel. “Come on Herman. Whip out another whale-hunting novel.”

All to say, I treated those days of freedom as precious and finite, and in the early days of my freedom I wrote Of Water and Melons.

When I read my pile of pages I was amazed. For one thing, the story was set in the past during the Great Depression. Never before and never since have I written fiction set in the past. For another, the story needed no editing. I always rewrite my stories many times. Not this story.

*

A year or so later I was living in Sacramento and was asked to open for a well-known fiction writer who was on a reading tour touting her new bestseller. The reading took place in a large room at a school converted into a community center.

There were a hundred and fifty people there to hear The Famous One, and maybe a few of those folks were curious to hear the new writer in town: moi. The woman who had invited me said I was to read for the first forty-five minutes, there would be an intermission, and then The Famous One would read for another forty-five. However, the Famous One said she’d rather I didn’t read at all, but if I must, make it fifteen minutes max.

I made it twenty-two minutes and premiered Of Water and Melons, the audience was enthralled, and The Famous One was Highly Displeased she had to follow my act.

*

For some years thereafter I gave many performances combining stories and music, and my surefire showstopper was Of Water and Melons.

When I performed the story for an audience of several hundred in a gorgeous theater at Cal Arts in southern California, I was approached afterward by two filmmakers who thought the story would make a wonderful one-hour movie. “A Hallmark Thanksgiving Special,” they pitched me. I said, “Mahvelous” and gave them a copy of the story and never heard from them again.

*

Nothing I’ve written since Of Water and Melons has been so beloved. I took to having piles of photocopies on hand to give away after my performances to the many people requesting them, and eventually my friend Quinton Duval, the great California poet, brought out a lovely chapbook edition of Of Water and Melons with touching illustrations by Vance Lawry.

Yet I could never convince any magazine, large or small, to publish the story, though I submitted it to literally hundreds of publications. And though countless people urged me to send a reading of the story to This American Life, which I did twice, as well as to other audio-fiction radio shows, I had no takers.

*

In 2003 I recorded three short stories for my CD I Steal My Bicycle and other stories composed of the title story along with Of Water and Melons and The Dreidel in Rudolph’s Manger, a very funny story originally published in The Sacramento News & Review and then syndicated and published in several dozen free weekly newspapers AND some large daily newspapers, for which I earned thousands of dollars! You can listen to these stories on YouTube and download/stream them from Apple, Amazon, etc.

AND I have included Of Water and Melons in my book Oasis Tales of the Conjuror and other stories.

*

When I moved to Mendocino in 2006, I sent my story CDs to Jamie and he’s been playing them for his listeners ever since. Thank you Jamie!

Fin

Todd’s latest creations Good With Dogs and Cats and the sequel Pooches and Kiddies are orderable as paperbacks from any good bookstore, and available online as paperbacks, audio books, and e-books from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many others.

Categories
Uncategorized

Studio Time

jennysletter

This is the story of a song that came out a finished work the first time I played it, never having played it before. This had never happened to me with a song that has both music and words. Which is to say, I have improvised piano tunes that were finished works, though I could never repeat them exactly as I played them the first time. But music and lyrics in their finished form the first time I played a song? Definitely a first.

Which reminds me, if I may briefly digress, of the one short story I’ve written in my fifty years of writing stories when the first draft was the final draft, and that turned out to be one of my most popular stories, Of Water and Melons. I recorded it for CD of stories I Steal My Bicycle and other stories. And you can listen to my reading of Of Water and Melons on YouTube.

Now back to the song story.

So… the basic guitar parts, piano parts, and my vocals for eleven songs on my new album Lounge Act In Heaven were recorded and I had a three-week wait before I could get back into Peter Temple’s studio to do more work on the album. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Moreland was listening to those eleven songs and figuring out her accordion parts and vocal harmonies.

I had been practicing those eleven songs every day for months. Now that they were recorded to my liking I no longer needed to play them, so I turned my attention to working out second guitar parts and vocal harmonies, though those would mostly have to wait until I heard what Gwyneth came up with.

And I resumed my usual practice of improvising on both piano and guitar and hunting around for appealing patterns of chords and neato melodies.

On a beautiful fall morning, about two weeks before Gwyneth would begin recording her parts for the songs, I picked up my guitar and played high up on the guitar neck a repeating pattern of three jazzy chords and sang in a plaintive voice, “Got my songs together, waiting on studio time. Got my songs together, waiting on studio time, studio time.”

Then without pausing, I shifted to a classic rock n’ roll chord progression and sang, “If I make a million from my music, this is what I’m gonna do, build me a super duper studio for me and you, get a super duper engineer, on call twenty-four hours. We can work there night and day, maximize our power.”

Again without pausing I went back up the neck to the high jazzy chords and repeated, “Got my songs together, waiting on studio time. Got my songs together, waiting on studio time, studio time.”

Then I played the rock progression again and repeated, “If I make a million from my music, this is what I’m gonna do, build me a super duper studio for me and you, get a super duper engineer, on call twenty-four hours. We can work there night and day, maximize our power.”

Song finished, I put down my guitar and went outside and had a good laugh because the song struck me as both a funny satire and an honest elucidation of my impatience to get back to work on the songs for Lounge Act In Heaven. In a wholly unanticipated outburst, I’d composed an anthem to the adolescent fantasies of millions of wannabe rock stars who imagine the only thing standing between them and stardom is studio time. That is to say, when I was young, before the advent of digital everything and YouTube, aspiring musicians everywhere longed for studio time.

I played the song again, wrote down the words, practiced the song many times, and when I finally got back in the studio I recorded the groovy tune in one take. And while recording the song, never having done this before, I spoke the line “Shred it Johnny” between the rock progression and the high jazzy.

I really loved how the song turned out and thought I’d like to find a hot lead guitar player to play hot lead guitar on the instrumental sections. But after Gwyneth came up with a groovy accordion part and I recorded a vocal harmony, I thought I’d face my lead guitar demons and take a crack at playing lead. After lots of practicing, we recorded my lead guitar parts and I was happy with the results. Shred it Toddy.

Studio Time

Got my songs together, waiting on studio time

Got my songs together, waiting on studio time

Studio time, studio time

 

If I make a million from my music, this is what I’m gonna do

Build me a super duper studio for me and you

Get a super duper engineer, on call twenty-four hours

We can work there night and day, maximize our power

Shred it Johnny

 

Got my songs together, waiting on studio time

Got my songs together, waiting on studio time

Studio time

 

If I make a million from my music, this is what I’m gonna do

Build me a super duper studio for me and you

Get a super duper engineer, on call twenty-four hours

We can work there night and day, maximize our power

Shred it Johnny

Categories
Uncategorized

Know Your Audience

Of Water and Melons

Chapbook Of Water and Melons

“Truth is a great flirt.” Franz Liszt

A few decades ago a short novel came out in America that became a huge bestseller. I won’t name the novel because I think it is a bad book, poorly written, and with a terrible message; but because tens of millions of people loved the book, I don’t want to sully anybody’s happy memories of that novel. Because I am a fiction writer, several people urged me to read this novel, and three people gave me copies. I soldiered through the first few pages, skimmed the rest, and despaired for humanity.

A year after that very popular novel came out I read an article summarizing a study about that novel conducted by scholars at a well-known university. The study documented that the vast majority of people who bought and read this popular book believed it was not a novel, but an absolutely true story, though the book was marketed as a work of fiction, and nowhere on or in the book did the publisher or author claim the story was true. The study further reported that when people who loved this book were informed that the story was not true, they reacted with either tremendous anger or enormous disappointment, or both.

“The truth is not ashamed of appearing contrived.” Isaac Bashevis Singer

I became aware of this phenomenon—people believing fiction is true—some years before this mass delusion about a popular novel swept the nation. In those long ago days, I frequently gave public readings of my fiction; and it was during the mid-1980s that more and more people began to experience my stories as true rather than as fiction. In response to this phenomenon, I would preface my reading of each story by declaring that the tale was not autobiographical, not inspired by supposedly true events, and was most definitely a work of fiction.

Even with this disclaimer, many people in my audiences continued to assume my stories were recollections of things that had really happened to me, regardless of how preposterous that possibility.

On one occasion I performed for a large audience at a community college in California. I read several short stories and concluded my performance by reading one of my most popular stories Of Water and Melons, which you can listen to on YouTube.

Of Water and Melons takes place during the Great Depression, long before I was born. The story is narrated by a man looking back on his life and remembering what happened when he was twelve-years-old and living a hard scrabble life with his family in the hills of North Carolina.

When I finished reading the story for that community college audience, there was a moment of silence followed by generous applause. Then came the question and answer phase of my presentation and many hands shot up.

My first questioner was a woman who said angrily, “Why wasn’t your wife more supportive of you after everything you had to overcome to become a college professor and a successful author? I think you’re lucky she left you.”

I was staggered. What was this woman talking about? I hadn’t mentioned anything about my wife, nor was I a professor. “Um…”

The woman continued angrily, “Why would she want to undermine you after you’d worked your way up from nothing to where you are now?”

And then it dawned on me that this woman had interpreted and intermixed all the stories I’d read that day as chapters of a life she imagined was my life.

“I’m very sorry,” I said, “but as I tried to make clear at the beginning of the reading, all these stories are fiction. I didn’t grow up poor in North Carolina, I never finished college, and I am not a college professor. So…”

“What?” said the woman, incredulously. “You lied to us?”

And with that she got up and stalked out of the auditorium, as did several other disgruntled people.

“A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.” H.H. Munro

Some years after that disquieting community college experience, I led a writing workshop for a dozen men incarcerated in San Quentin—men of many sizes and shapes and colors and ages, all of them keenly interested in me and the writing exercises I gave them.

To prove myself a credible tutor, I began the two-hour session by reading a short story entitled Poetry, which you can also hear me read on YouTube. The story is poignant and funny and thought provoking, and my reading was punctuated by loud laughter and impromptu comments from my audience of felons.

When I finished reading the story, the men gave me a round of applause; and then the very largest of them said in a deep buttery voice, “So when that happen to you?”

I explained that the story was fiction, and though some of the details sprang from experiences I’d had, the plot and characters were wholly imagined.

A fellow with tattoos covering his massively muscled arms gazed at me with wrinkled brow and said, “We know you wrote it. But he wants to know when did that happen to you?”

Sensing I was quickly losing whatever credibility I may have gained with the success of the story, I took a deep breath and said, “A couple years ago.”

“You ever see that woman again?” asked the very largest man, arching an eyebrow and nodding slowly. “She wanted you bad. And you loved her. I hope you called her. Got together.”

“No, I never saw her again,” I said sadly, wishing I had.

“That’s rough,” said a middle-aged guy with a raspy voice. “You had a special thing going there. That’s rare. Sorry that didn’t work out for you.”

“She said she was happily married,” opined another fellow, wagging his finger, “but if she was, she wouldn’t have kissed you like that. You shoulda gone for it, man. Don’t get many chances like that.”

“Amen, brother,” murmured another man, bowing his head.

“You’re absolutely right,” I said, nodding in agreement. “And on that note, let’s do some writing.”